Week 1491 Invitational Style Contest: Add a letter to a word to create a new one; more winning “little foals”

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Arbyss: The deepest part of the stomach, reserved for two giant roast beef, large curly fries and a chocolate shake. (Danny Organek)

Auntiques: This crocheted teapot and scented stationery. (Deborah Guy)

Santagonism: A form of threatening mind control that parents practice on their children each December. (Lawrence McGuire)

Empress > Temptress: Someone who keeps luring me in with the illusory hope of winning a prize. (Steve Glomb)

The Style Invitational had a [your noun here]-load of neologism contests in which you change a word, name, etc., by a letter – by adding it, dropping it, moving it. But rarely, if ever, in the last 1,490 competitions, have we held just one. Longtime Loser Steve Glomb suggests such a contest, but with an additional opportunity: Choose any word, name or phrase starting with A to E (for someone’s name, it can be either the first or last name), then add a single letter of the alphabet to it – once or several times – and define the result or show how it would be used, same as the examples above from previous contests, except Empress > Temptress, which was Steve’s example earlier (and why, empress figures, he suggested the letter repeat variation). The E adds the limitation from A to E because (1) it will prevent her from having many more good entries than she can run, and (2) she can do this contest four more times yayyyy.

Submit up to 25 entries to wapo.st/enter-invite-1491 (no capitals in the web address). The deadline is Monday, June 13; the results appear on July 3 in printed form. June 30 online.

The winner takes the clown making, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a back-scratcher made from a dried alligator hand, with four long claws. (If it’s not called a hand, it should be; it looks like it.) Regifted from the Loser Crap Collection by Dave Zarrow, who won it for a limerick he wrote in 2004.

Other finalists earn their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour High End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our coveted Loser magnets, “A Small Jester of Appreciation” or “Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare”. First-time offenders are only given a smelly tree-shaped “air freshener” (stinky tree for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviteFAQ. The title “Re-manes of the Day” is by Mark Raffman; Tom Witte wrote the honorable mentions subtitle. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev; “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; and follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The conversational style: The Empress’ weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week’s, published at the end of the day on Thursday, June 2, on wapo.st/conv1491.

The “You’re Invited” podcast: Eighteen half-hour episodes, including a dish from the Empress and the Tsar, and advice from the best losers. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.

Re-manes of the day: ‘Grandfoals’ of the week 1487

As we do every year, in Week 1483 we asked losers to ‘duplicate’ two names from a list of 100 racehorses nominated for this year’s Triple Crown, then name the ‘foal’ to reflect both names; for example, Smarten Up was “crossed” with Simplification to produce Dumben Down. Then in the follow-up contest of Week 1487, they raised two of foal names. Here are the best “little foals” among more than 2,200 entries.

No-Knock Warrant x Lake Flaccid = Dead in the water (Frank Mann, Washington)

Finals are today x Catch Some Z’s = I have F’s (Andrew Hatziyannis, Rockville, Maryland)

and the plush flesh-eating disease;

Catch Some Z’s x I the People = Bonaparte siesta (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Michigan)

And the winner of the clownish achievement:

Atom and Heave x Pig Penn = Hurls before the pork (Laurie Brink, Mineola, NY)

C-biscuits: honorable mentions

Let’s Go Brandin’ x Aunt™ =We ® Family (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Maryland)

CloningAchievement x Anywhere on the Road = one to many (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento)

Anywhere on the Road x Potatoes M*A*S*H = Carpool Klinger (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Maryland)

Follow Eric, an icon x Wait, Mr. Lincoln! = Am Eric, a cousin (Greg Dobbins, Boynton Beach, Florida)

Atom and Uprising x Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:= Chain reaction (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Catch Some Z’s x Die Happy = RIP Van Winkle (Craig Dykstra, Centerville, Virginia)

AlexanderTheGrape x Mr Red = Pete Rose (Francis Canavan, Reston, Virginia)

Dead Gunfighter x LiedAboutThatToo = Push doozies (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Maryland)

Ring Decoder x Pig Penn = Ah! IgpayAtinlay! (Harold Mantle, Walnut Creek, CA)

IV League x Fat Man = Prince Ton (Ward Foeller, Charlottesville, Virginia)

League IV x M*A*S*H Potatoes = Cornell Potter (Rob Wolf)

Fat Man x Mona Visa = Lardo da Vinci (Rob Wolf)

Fat Man x Viagra = Sydney Groin Street (Kevin Dopart)

The finals are today x Missing everything = I dream of it too (Mark Raffman, Reston, Virginia)

G Whiz x Missing Everything = G Wizards (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia)

Hair on a G String x Snippitydoodah = Southern thong (Mary McNamara, Washington; Chris Doyle, Denton, TX)

Heir Jordans x LiedAboutThat Too = scion fiction (Kevin Dopart)

House of Strings x Dumben Down = The rope of a dopant (John Klayman, Fairfax, Virginia; Laura Bennett Peterson, Washington)

House of Cords x Missing Everything = Joe. A.Blank (Roxi Slemp, Bariloche, Argentina)

House of Strings x Snippitydoodah = Snippety Doula (Harold Mantel)

I caught a code x The little peephole = Rheum with a view (Jonathan Paul)

I the People x Erupt to No Good = me the button (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Virginia)

I the People x Snippitydoodah = Hubris (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)

One-Eyed Love x LiedAboutThatToo = Sikelops (Brian Cohen, Winston-Salem, North Carolina)

The One Eye Love x Erupt to No Good = Slyclops (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Everything is missing x The finals are today = Disappearing ACT (Laura Clairmont, Venice, Florida)

MoltenJoeDiMaggio x I caught a code= Mr Coughee (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Connecticut; Rob Wolf)

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: x Stop it = Finish it, Aretha! (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania)

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: x I caught a code = Remorse (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Virginia; Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Maryland)

Resting Rich Face x LiedAboutThatToo = Resting Mitch Face (Stephen Dudzik)

Say person x M*A*S*H Potatoes = SilenceDesIgnames (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Maryland)

Via Gra x AFL-CIA = The perfect union of love (John Hutchins, SilverSpring, Maryland)

Why a Derp? x MonaVisa = Duh Vinci (JD Berry, Springfield, Virginia)

Wine and Jeez x LiedAboutThatToo = Pinotcchio (Karen Lambert)

Downton Crabby x Fat Man = Quarrel and Hardy (Pamela Love, Columbia, Maryland)

Downton Crabby x Finals are today = Crammy Town Center (Jeff Contompasis)

AlexanderTheGrape x Downton Grabby = AlexandreThe trial and error (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Virginia; Rob Wolf)

Let’s go Brandin’ x I the People = I am the state (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia)

Catch Z x G Whiz = Rip Van Tinkle (Lewis Lesansky, Burke, Virginia)

Catch Some Z’s x LiedAboutThatToo = Fake Snooze (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Maryland)

Catch Some Z’s x Wine and Jeez = I need a Napa (Lee Graham, Reston, Virginia)

CloningAchievement x Heir Jordans = Be like Mike (David Letizia, Pinehurst, North Carolina; Richard Franklin, Alexandria, Virginia)

Con Yak x Why a Derp? = stupid oxey (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.; Kevin Dopart)

Dead Gun x Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:= Wild Bill Hiccup (Matt Monito)

Ring x The Wee People Decoder = Ovality (Joanne Free, Clifton, Virginia)

Fat man x Mr Red = Crispy Chris (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Michigan)

Die Happy x Sweeney Toad = Hopped to die (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Virginia)

Die happy x Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:= Die Yappy (Kate Sammons, Ashburn, Virginia)

Erupt to No Good x Into the Hoods = Mount St. Hellions (Perry Beider, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Heir Jordans x IV League = ER Jordans (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama)

Lake Flaccid x Sharp Dresser = Drop-down drawers (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.; Chris Doyle)

LiedAboutThatToo x Catch Some Z = Bulldozer (Jeff Contompasis)

M*A*S*H Potatoes x Diapercussion = KP Doody (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Virginia)

M*A*S*H Potatoes x Mr Red = Major burns (JD Berry; Stephen Dudzik)

All missing x IV League = Dazed and transfused (Frank Osen, Pasadena, CA)

Dead Gunfighter x Heir Jordans = billy the goat (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Missouri)

The model itself! x Missing everything = Heidi Klumsy (Stephen Gilberg, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Sharp Dresser x says no one = Nice sweater cardigan! (Leif Picoult, Rockville)

Downton Grabby x Mona Visa = Leonardo de Pinchy (Jesse Rifkin)

Follow Eric, an icon x Lake Flaccid = Laylo (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Wanderful Tonight x Resting Rich Face = Hobotox (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia)

Mr Red x Anywhere on the road = Marx Skid (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

Erupt to No Good x Lake Flaccid = Woodless Rash (Leif Picoult)

Still ongoing — deadline also Monday, June 13: Our current affairs song contest. See wapo.st/invite1490.

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